Green Daily

Hey, check it out -- Paris Hilton is looking for roommates! And the best part is they won't be drugged-up, socialite types. She's looking for real people to live with, pose for the paparazzi with, and do whatever it is that the pseudo-actress spends her time with on day-to-day basis. Alright!

I see this as a chance for an eco-do-gooder to help Ms. Hilton use her celebrity status to do something positive for the planet. Obviously I'm an ideal candidate for this position, so here's five conversations I'd have with Paris if we were BFFs.

1.
Me: So P, I see you're driving a hybrid. That's great! But did you know, that SUV is so big, that it still doesn't get very good gas mileage?
Paris: No way! For serious?
Me: For real, P. But check it out, Porsche is making a hybrid sedan in 2009 -- so you can have room for all your shopping and spend more money on a car than anyone else you know!

2.
Me: Rumor has it you like eco-friendly lingerie.
Paris: Totally! When I wear any!
Me: I dare you to prove it.

3.
Me: Dude, P, let's hit the clubs and pose for the paps!
Paris: I would, but, I'm running low on cash.
Me: Oh yeah, I heard about that. Bummer about your grandpa dying.
Paris: He sucks.
Me: Totally. But you know, we live in this enormous mansion together, I bet we're spending a fortune on utilities. I just happen to work for this website that compiled a great list of tips and tricks for saving money by making your home more energy efficient.
Paris: Get out! Like, on the Internet? Are there any videos of me having sex?
Me: No, Paris.

4.
Me: Um, did you ever buy that eco-friendly home you were talking about?
Paris: Huh?
Me: You know, when you were dating that funny looking guy from Entourage.
Paris: Moi?
Me: Entourage, it's this TV show on HBO.
Paris: What?
Me: A TV, it's a little box with moving images.
Paris: Meh?
Me: Are you serious?

5.
Me: P, I have something to ask you, but I'm afraid it might make you upset.
Paris: It's OK, we're BFFs, you can ask me anything.
Me: We might want to talk about all the shoes in your closet. I think it's a little excessive.
Paris: If you touch one pair I will cut you.

Silence.

Me: OK. Glad we had that chat.

Which celeb should get naked for the planet?